In just a few weeks, my son will graduate from high school. He will graduate third in his class.
That may sound impressive.
And it is.
We are proud of him. But it is also a tiny bit disappointing for him. The two students who finished ahead of him are his friends. He is happy for them, but watching friends reach the goal he had set for himself is still a little hard.
This fall, God willing, my son will attend Texas A&M University in College Station to study computer engineering. Again, quite impressive.
His friends will be attending MIT and Harvard.
Comparison has a way of taking something good and making it feel less good. It turns blessings into scorecards.
That is why one little command in Romans chapter twelve is much harder than it sounds. The Apostle Paul encourages us as Christians to “rejoice with those who rejoice” and “mourn with those who mourn” (Romans 12:15). Years ago, a seminary professor read that verse to my class and asked, “Which of those is easier to do?”
Our initial response was to say, “Rejoice with those who rejoice.”
But is that true? As Christians, we actually do quite well at mourning with those who mourn. When tragedy strikes, when somebody dies, when our neighbors are hurting, we often step up and step in to help. We offer our condolences and prayers. We bring them food and open our homes to them.
We mourn with those who mourn.
It’s harder to rejoice with those who rejoice. Your coworker gets the promotion. Your friend’s child gets into the dream school. Your neighbor buys the house you wish you could afford. Someone else receives the recognition you quietly hoped would come to you.
Maybe we smile and grit our teeth and congratulate them, but deep down, we struggle to be happy for them. We think, “Why them and not me?”
Comparison is the thief of joy.
The secret to truly rejoicing with those who rejoice is to recognize God’s amazing grace in your own life. Look at what God has already given you. He has given you daily bread, family and friends, gifts and opportunities. More than that, he has given you his Son. In Jesus, he has forgiven your sins, called you his child, and promised you heaven.
When we recognize and appreciate all the good things God gives us in his grace, we can be happy when God gives good things to others. God blesses each of us differently, but he blesses all of us richly.
The fact that God has blessed someone else doesn’t mean that God hasn’t blessed you.
The fact that they succeed doesn’t mean that you are a failure.
One of the hardest things God asks us to do as Christians is to rejoice with those who rejoice. But by God’s grace, we can. We can rejoice because his blessings for others do not cancel his blessings for us.
Other people’s success is not your failure.
Pastor Andrew Schroer has been a pastor for over 25 years and is currently serving at Redeemer Lutheran Church in Edna, Texas. You can find his latest books, “364 Days of Thanksgiving” and “364 Days of Devotion,” on Amazon.com.
